You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
