would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
