Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
