his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
