My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
