so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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