Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
