The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I met the friendliest cop last night
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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