the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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