Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
