i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
