Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
