sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
The convent might be a nice break from real life
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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