I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
