tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
how drunk are you?
Several
where are my pants?
in the oven.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
