It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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