I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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