Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
