yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
