You can't motorboat a personality
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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