I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
