I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
