I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
