haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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