oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
