plz talk dirty to me
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
