I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
