A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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