ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
