My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
