I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
