It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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