could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
