is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
