p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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