i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
