Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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