This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
