all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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