im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
