who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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