why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize