this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
