I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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