I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
