I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
