ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
