OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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