I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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