I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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