Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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