I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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