so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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