I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize