yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
