My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
