I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
