You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
