Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize