ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
