so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
