Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
