Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
