I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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