The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
