I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
