I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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