i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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