So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
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