it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
