I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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