Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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