wanna go halves on a baby?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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