she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
