Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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